Tuesday, January 31, 2012

A little bittersweet

Today as I was out running errands, a little out of it due to the fact that I'm under the influence of lots of cold medicine, I remembered what today is. January 31st. Five years ago today the love of my life & my best friend popped the question, asking me to commit to spending the rest of my life with him. That was the one of the easiest decisions I ever made! Of course we had been discussing this possibility for awhile at this point, so I wasn't completely caught off guard. However, that night as he drove me up as close to the Blue Ridge Parkway as we could get in January, with snow storm warnings for our county, he came to a stop, got out and opened my door telling me to hop out for a minute. Me? Get out of this warm vehicle? I was thinking to myself, Is he crazy? This better be quick! Little did I know he had had a diamond ring in his pocket this whole time and would soon be down on one knee! Ah...we were so young and naive but so ready to begin the journey of marriage together. No regrets. And I can honestly say I love him even more today than I did that night on January 31, 2007.....and that is saying a lot! 
We first began talking about spending forever together at the top of a mountain in Jinotega, Nicaragua. Pretty amazing that God chose to bring us together through giving us both a heart for His children. In honor of that, I want to share an excerpt from my journal on this past trip to give you a glimpse of the passion I have for the people of Nicaragua and whatever God has for us to do there in the future. 
    Saturday, January 7, 2012- Our Jinotegan farewell today was the most memorable yet. Bob [my father-in-law and leader of the team] asked all the kids to come out on the porch as he read Hebrews 12 over them. Then our team of gringos had the privilege and opportunity to pray over each child. It was then that the tears began to fall both in our eyes and theirs. Throughout each trip every normal person deals with the spiritual attack of "is what I am doing worth anything? Am I making even the smallest bit of difference in the lives of these kids?" And even though it is heart-wrenching to see the tears well up in the precious eyes of these children of God- it is genuine evidence, for me, that yes, it has made a difference. That smile, that awkward Spanglish conversation, that simple act of giving of myself even when it seemed so insignificant. There is a sense of urgency that comes with this realization- to say the right thing into the ear of the child you're embracing...to make sure they know how much you love them and how much God loves them and has a plan for their lives. There are few words through my tears as I attempt to keep it together. All I know to do at this point is pray, Jesus, reveal yourself to them. I promise to each of them, "Hasta pronto!" meaning see you soon. These last moments are precious and truly a gift from You, Lord. I am so grateful to experience a glimpse of the love of Jesus and the compassion You have for Your people. Father God, protect these kids not only from physical harm but from spiritual harm, and deliver them from any bondage from their past. Lord Jesus help them to embrace You and walk in the power and authority You have given them to overcome their past and be released from the brokenness of abandonment. Thank You Jesus for equipping Your saints- for meeting us where we are in that moment and bringing us to a better place. 
My little Alandra and me- taken on the day I wrote this. She is precious- I miss her like crazy! 

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